Wednesday, December 16, 2015

"The Password is ....triad"

If you are as old as I am, you might remember the game show "Password", where celebrities and guest would pair off and try to guess the secret word.

They played "Password" on last night's debate.  The result was amazing....italics are mine.  The rest is pure Trump.  You can't make this stuff up.

HEWITT: Mr. Trump... Dr. Carson just referenced the single most important job of the president, the command, the control and the care of our nuclear forces. And he mentioned the triad. (Thought balloon:  "triad?"  Was that just in my doctor's report?) (hint #1:"tri" is a prefix for three) The B-52s (that's one thing) are older than I am. The missiles (that's two things) are old . The submarines (that's three things) are aging out. It’s an executive order. It’s a commander-in-chief decision.What’s your priority among our nuclear triad?
TRUMP: Well, first of all, I think we need somebody absolutely that we can trust, who is totally responsible; who really knows what he or she is doing. That is so powerful and so important.  (Translation: Nuclear bombs are dangerous to own and operate, so don't leave them with a fool - they could go off! Good idea! )  
 (Thought balloon:  I don't want to talk about nukes.  Hmmm.  Wonder what "triad" means?  Nukes....hmmmm.  Iran! Iran want nukes!  Middle East! Iraq!  Hey, I was against it once we found out there were no WMDs. I'll say that, sort of...
And one of the things that I’m frankly most proud of is that in 2003, 2004, I was totally against going into Iraq because you’re going to destabilize the Middle East. I called it. I called it very strongly (Translation:  Strong is better than weak, because it's stronger.  I'm a very strong predicting kind of guy!)  And it was very important. (Translation:  Everything I say and do and think is important to me) 
But we have to be extremely vigilant and extremely careful when it comes to nuclear.  (Translation:  No casual nukes, anymore! (Thought balloon:  Keep stating the obvious and make is sound like wisdom.  Maybe I can figure out this "triad" thing...Nuclear changes the whole ball game.  
 (Thought balloon:  Still no idea about this triad thing.  Lets talk about something else. hmmm.  Iraq, no did that one.  How about Syria!?!)
Frankly, I would have said get out of Syria; get out – if we didn’t have the power of weaponry today. The power is so massive that we can’t just leave areas that 50 years ago or 75 years ago we wouldn’t care. It was hand-to-hand combat.  (Thought balloon:  I have no idea what I just said, but I said it so it must sound good.  No worries.) 
(Thought balloon:  Still have time.... hmmm... Triad?  Screw that!  Any more middle east countries I can talk about?    Can't think of anything....  Let's blame Obama!  He was just at that climate thing...nukes > climate.  Go with that!)
The biggest problem this world has today is not President Obama with global warming,  which is inconceivable, this is what he’s saying. The biggest problem we have is nuclear – nuclear proliferation and having some maniac, having some madman go out and get a nuclear weapon. (Translation: No more casual nukes!  Bad guys with nukes are a bad thing  I'm against that.) That’s in my opinion, that is the single biggest problem that our country faces right now.  (Translation:  Absolutely!  What?)
HEWITT: Of the three legs of the triad  (Thought balloon:  "triad" again.  WHAT IS THAT!?!  It has three legs?  A Martian thing?  Nukes on Mars? clue...) , though, do you have a priority? I want to go to Senator Rubio (Though Balloon:  Rubio, what a wimp...) after that and ask him.
TRUMP: I think – I think, for me, nuclear is just the power, the devastation is very important to me. (Translation:  Powerful nukes are important because they are powerful. We should only have the devastating kind because I like them better.)

So, when asked how he will prioritize the management and upkeep of our three primary methods of delivering nuclear power around the globe, Trump said:

1. Nukes are powerful.
2. Bad guys shouldn't have them.
3. The Middle East is messed up and I told you so.
4. Obama!  That guy....

Time to go back to hawking real estate, buddy.