Wednesday, March 5, 2014

War Stories- Episode 11: "Print job - all, all, all. Uh, oh."

Remember "Wayne's Law" from Episode 9?

"Life is hard.  Life is harder if you're stupid."

This is a short story of stupid.

Fall 1978.  Still a trainee.  Still at Buckeye Diesel Shop.  Still stupid.

This time, I'm in the office at the fuel pad where they fuel, service and put together locomotives for outbound trains. "Building consists" is the vernacular.  In the office they had a computer terminal and printer for the new Locomotive Information System, or "LIS".  It tracked all the repairs made to locomotives.

Fuel pad at Selkirk, NY


It was a gadget.  I liked gadgets.   Still do.  So, I spent some time on it trying to see what it could do and what it could tell me.

There were several parameterized reports.  The most interesting to me was one that let you pull the history for a locomotive for a specific time period.  Or, several locomotives.  Or groups of locomotives.  You just filled out the parameters on the screen and hit enter and your report would pop out on the printer.  The more information you asked for, the longer the print job took to respond.

Conrail had about 5000 locomotives at the time.  I looked at all sorts of data.  One particular locomotive, all defects, for a month.  One for a year.  A group of locomotives for a month.  One kind of defect on a group of locomotives for a week. One particular locomotive as far back as the data existed (about a year, at the time, but they were growing the database).

All the reports came back nice and fast.  Some were as long as 20 pages, but most were a few pages at most.

Then, the "stupid" kicked in.

One of the values you could enter in the parameters was "all".  So, I started messing around with it.  "All" locomotives with "replace turbocharger" for a day.  No problem.  One locomotive for "all" dates.  No problem.  Then, trouble.  I while editing the screen for my next report, entered "all" everywhere and hit enter.  There was no "oops" button.  No, "escape" key.  No, "Alt-Cntl-Del."

The query hit the mainframe and in a couple minutes, the printer sprang to life, dutifully beginning the process of printing the entire contents of the database in report form!

Uh, oh.

After what seemed like a half a box of paper, I tried everything I could think of to get it to stop.  Turned off the printer, and back on.  No.  Bzzz, bzzzz, bzzz, more pages printed, line by line.  Unpluged the print and plugged it back in.  Nope.  Turn of the terminal and turn in back on.  Nope, again.  Bzzz, bzzz, bzzz...  Finally, I did everything at once.

And it stopped.  Phew!

Or, maybe some smart system operator back in 32nd St. Philadelphia saw what a dopey query I'd submitted and killed the job.

Either way, I didn't care.  The buzzing printer was silent!

Less than an hour later, it was time to go home.  So I did....

...only to come back to work the next day to find out the job lived!  The supervisor at the fuel pad told me that the printer had fired back up, and, after a whole box of paper, they figured out who to call in Philadelphia to get the print job killed.  Did I know anything about this?

I had to confess...  "stupid college boy"...  They weren't really as bent out of shape as I thought they might be - thankfully.

Ultimately, LIS and I would become great friends.  In later jobs at Conrail, I used to to study locomotive reliability and track "in service" component testing.  It was a very useful tool.

You'd think smart software would be "stupid proof".  We all remember when Microsoft  Office software was full of "are you sure?" pop-up boxes.  Perhaps, I wasn't the only stupid person.  Perhaps, I was a trend setter?  An inovator?  Perhaps I should have reasonably expected it to responded to my query with, "Are you SERIOUS!?!"

Nope.  I was just stupid.

Perhaps, if this career didn't work out, I could get a job as a "software tester."  What do you think?

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

War Stories - Episode 10: "Now, THIS is fun! (But it really was work)"

"Hi, ho, hi, ho, it's off to work I go!"

After my, um, "interesting" first train ride (Episode 6) I got a chance for another one.

Good thing!  Train rides were the "crown jewel" of the training experience to me.  What's better than riding on a train?

But first, some background.  Another trainee assignment was to follow a locomotive through a "heavy" repair and then ride the first trip to see how it fares.  I picked an ex-PC U33C that had become a "hangar queen" of sorts.  It was waiting in pieces for parts to arrive.  It sat outside the shop for a week.  Finally, the parts arrived and the ex-EL machinists set to work fixing it.

As I recall, this particular locomotive needed four or five power assemblies.  Not enough for a trip to the backshop but fairly major work for a small running repair shop.  The ex-EL guys were sharp.  They had had experience doing complete overhauls on the EL's GE U-boat fleet at Marion.  A half dozen power assemblies was simple for them.  They tolerated my questions as they worked.  Removing the bad ones. Installing the good ones.  Setting the fuel rack, etc.

Once all the work was done, it was time to fire it up.  Despite being outside for a week, the batteries were in good shape.  The 16 cylinder FDL engine slowly cranked over.  Would it start?  One cylinder fired.  Woomph!  Then a few others.  Woomph, woomph, woomph!  A big cloud of smoke filled the shop, but it was idling.  Gene Wilder's voice popped into my head. "It's alive!"  Very soon, the idling smoothed out and the smoke died down.  Acrid diesel smoke was everywhere, but who cares?  "It's aliiive!"

They moved the locomotive out to the load box.  A load box is a "fake train".  It a big box of resistors to which you connect the output of the locomotive's main generator.  You can then power up the locomotive's diesel engine to full horsepower.  Think of it as an electrical dynamometer for a locomotive.

Once they had the locomotive connected to the load box, they slowly warmed the engine up until they had it running in "notch 8"  - full power!  WOPWOPWOPWOPWOP!  The exhaust sounded a bit like a helicopter blade going around - steady and sharp.  They checked the engine speed.  Right on 1050 RPM.  They checked the voltage and the amperage going into the load box and adjusted for the generator efficiency.  3300 HP plus or minus a small amount.  They checked for leaks, looked at the exhaust and gave the locomotive a good once-over.  Everything was perfect.  Time for this locomotive earn it's keep.

I don't recall if I had any sway in the decision or not, but the locomotive was assigned to a road freight headed toward Avon Yard in Indianapolis. COIN in Conrail terms.  COumbus to INdianapolis. This was good.  A real road train.  Not some "peddler".  Better yet, the train was called for the next morning.  I could go home and get some sleep first!

The next day I arrived at the fuel pad about dawn and found my engine.  It was paired with a GP38 which was going to be the lead unit.  The crew came on board and I introduced myself.  We headed out to pick up our train in the departure yard.  The yardmaster told the crew we had a couple of bad orders to set out before we could depart.  Great. How long's THAT going to take?  It took two hours - ugh.  I might never get out on the road.

Not to worry, we finally got our air test completed and we were off!

It was a great fall day!  Sunny, dry and cool.  The consist was arranged "elephant style" - nose to tail, with the trailing locomotive cab, the one I was in, facing forward.  I sat in the engineer's seat where I could see the gauges, opened the side cab widow, and watched the world go by.

We headed out the north end of the yard onto the "Bradford side" main. It was the ex-PRR line to Chicago.  Nearly all of it had been recently upgraded with new ties and welded rail, making for a very smooth ride.  Along the way, we passed a rail gang working on finishing up the upgrading of the route.

GP38-2 led train east of Buckeye on PRR panhandle.  This line would late be sold off.


Conrail was spending bucket loads of money on equipment and track back then, trying to resurrect a corpse.  The thought was, if the railroad was in a good state of repair, it could make money.  It turned out there was more wrong with Penn Central than just deferred maintenance. But little did I know, riding that day, that this freshly rebuilt mainline would be ripped up in just a few years in an attempt to make the route structure fit the profitable traffic in the deregulated era that was coming.

But, this particular day on this particular train, all was right with the world.   We  crawled up the hill toward Bradford, then onto Union City Ohio where we joined the old Big Four mainline.  From there were rolled through Muncie Indiana and on toward Indianapolis.  So far, a flawless trip.  For long stretches, we held a steady 50 mph, the fastest were were authorized to go.

I would occasionally check the load meter and write down the value of the current going to the traction motors.  I wanted to be able to figure out what the load should be at various speeds when I got back home.  Always the engineer....

The line into Indy was also freshly rebuilt, but they hadn't worked the road crossings completely yet.  At the first one, the big U-boat bounced up, launching me from my seat cushion, and proceeded to bounce up and down for the next few hundred feet before the suspension damped it out.  Didn't see that coming!  The thrill ride was repeated at every crossing on the line.  I noticed the GP38 in the lead didn't seem to bounce quite as much.  Later in my career, I'd learn quite a bit more about truck design and ride quality, but this was an interesting introduction.

Just outside of Indy, an approach signal, then a stop.  We were being held out for traffic at the yard on the other side of town.  It was getting to be late afternoon and the crew was starting to get short on their 12 hour work limit.  But, not to worry!  Finally, a high green!

The engineer notched out.  The GP38 dug in and started to pull.  My U-boat was slowly thinking about loading up.  That's how they were.  The difference between the two was that one had a two stroke diesel that could get going quickly and the other had a turbocharged four stroke engine that needed time for the turbo to get spinning before there was enough air to pour in more fuel and get thinks moving.  This created a problem.  It only took the GP38 20 seconds to get to full load, by which time it was slipping and overheating its traction motors.  The GE took a full minute and a half.  After a couple of attempts at starting the train, the head end brakeman came back to make sure the GE was loading at all.  I told him it seemed okay to me and then engineer attempted another start so he could see what was going on with his more experienced eyes.

He radioed the engineer that the trailing unit was okay, just loading slowly.  They had a simple fix.  They "isolated" the lead locomotive by snapping the isolation switch.  This allowed the locomotive to control all the other locomotives, as it had, but disconnected that locomotive from responding.

The engineer notched out and slowly the big U-boat started to load.  After about a minute it sounded like it was starting to dig in.  The brakeman radioed "now!" and the engineer snapped the isolation switch on the lead unit.  A geyser of exhaust shot out of it's stack as the diesel engine revved rapidly from idle to full speed, full load.  The GP38 dug in and the train started to move.  Slowly we gained speed and crawled by the virtual ruins of the old Union Station in downtown Indy, arriving at Avon yard a short time later. QED.

It was dusk now and I got jitney ride back to downtown Indianapolis.  I found the Greyhound station and bought a ticket for Columbus.  I had a couple hours to kill, so I wandered around the downtown area a bit, walking over to the old Union Station.

Greyhound?  What was I thinking!  Amtrak's National Limited comes through here in the evening on it's way from Kansas City to New York.  Am I too late?  I go into the nearly deserted station.  What was a massive, ornate, first rate passenger station has nearly been abandoned in place.  A very sad and lonely place.  I find the ticket office.  The train comes by in about an hour - and is on time!  I buy a ticket, head back out and return my Greyhound coupon and return to Union Station.  Hot damn!  Two train rides in one day!

What took all day on the freight train, took four hours in reverse on Amtrak.  To be fair, the Amtrak train used the old PRR-panhandle line, which was shorter, but had very little traffic.  It, too would be torn up in the next couple of years.

The National Limited was freshly equipped with completely rebuilt, spotless "heritage" equipment - HEP equipped and nearly new F40PH-2 locomotives.  A very nice train that had not trouble holding down 80 mph all the way back "home" - on time!

A glorious day with a fitting end!  Maybe this IS the career for me!

War Stories - Episode 9: "Not dead yet..."

..but maybe I should be?  Or, at least somewhat mangled?

This story has little to do with "Spamalot".  It's more about "just plain stupid."

John Wayne once said, "Life is hard.  Life is harder if you're stupid."

Maybe this should be called "Wayne's Law".  If so, a corollary would be, "Railroad shops are dangerous.  They are especially dangerous if you are stupid."

I am occasionally stupid.  But, I am still here.  Maybe I'm lucky?

One morning in the Fall of 1978....

I was a Mechanical Department Trainee in Columbus Ohio, Buckeye Yard.  It was a small shop with two tracks that could hold six locomotives at a time.  It was typical of the small locomotive shops built during the period when the New York Central was rapidly modernizing in the 1960s.  This shop was one of the last built, constructed during the Penn Central era when former NYC and PRR facilities in Columbus were consolidated just to the west of the Intestate loop around the city and just north of I-70.

At one end of one track, there was a small drop-table.  A drop-table is what you use when you want change out a bad wheelset or traction motor on a locomotive.  Bigger shops have larger drop tables where they can drop an entire truck out from under the locomotive, but Buckeye only had a small, one axle one.

The drop table existed in a pit and was moved up and down by a motors powering a screw-jack arrangement for up and down and another motor with screw-jack handling left and right.  You could lower the offending motor/wheel combo, move it off to the side, and raise it back to floor level again, position the new combo and reverse the process.  The pit itself was about 10 feet deep and had the machinery exposed.  Normally, when not in use, it was cordoned off with posts and chain.  There was even a cover for the pit for times when it wasn't being used.  It fit into cutouts, about 10" square in the edge of the opening with matching feet on the cover.  But it was always in use, so the cover was almost never put it place.

Most days, there was at least one locomotive at Buckeye that needed a traction motor dropped and replaced.  For some reason - probably to do with the general friendliness of the personnel - I found myself hanging out at the drop table quite often.  The ex-PC guys weren't very accomplished since their shop didn't do much more than running repairs - Altoona and Collinwood took care of the heavy work, but the were friendly.  The ex-EL guys were very accomplished.  They came from the EL backshop in Marion.  They tended to have a chip on their shoulder and an attitude that came from having an unwanted 50 mile commute each day.  Changing motor/wheel combos was pretty simple work.

The hours at the shop were 7:00 to 3:00 for first shift.  7:00 AM was hard for me.  I had trouble with 9:00 classes in college.  A recurring nightmare for many is the one where you are having a test, but you don't know it and walk into the class unprepared.  That wasn't a nightmare for me.  It happened.  Strength of Materials, I think. I decided that I could learn the material from the book and just had to show up in class occasionally to find out when the tests were.  I procrastinated a bit too much and wound up, (luckily?) walking into class on test day. By sheer luck, perseverance, a solid shot of adrenaline and it being open book, I managed a 75 on it.  Salvaged a B in the course.  "Life is harder if you are stupid"?  Yup.

Anyway, I was managing to arrive each day at work by 7:00, but I wasn't always "all I could be."  I hit the morning meeting, found out they'd be doing a combo changeout that morning and  headed out to the drop table a waited for the action to start.  I was in my usual morning daydream/stupor as the other guys showed up.  As I turned to face them, one foot fell into one of the cut-outs for the cover.  I spun toward the pit, lost my balance and fell.

Backward.

Would up sitting on the edge of the pit with both feet dangling in space.  Adrenaline flowing, heart pounding and a bit confused  But perfectly safe.  The only thing wounded was my pride.

What a dope. Life IS harder when you're stupid.  But, sometimes you get a second chance....