Friday, May 9, 2014

War Stories - Episode 18: "Not Sleeping in the Sleeper"

News Flash:  I like riding trains.  Pretty much any train.  Except maybe those goofy Mall trains.

Working in the Equipment Engineering Department, I got involved in a whole bunch of things.  That was one of the good things about the job.  But the most interesting, most fun, and almost always most engaging involved working with the Technical Services Laboratory a.k.a. "The Lab".  They were the remnant of the once-great NYC lab in Collinwood OH, that among other things, installed jet engines on a Budd RDC and set the world rail speed record in 1966 of 183.68 mph.  (It's still the US record, FWIW, Metroliners and Acelas notwithstanding)

By the time Conrail had come around, they had faded from their past glory, but were still some of the sharpest guys on the railroad.  I owe a lot of what I know and how I went about thing from these guys.  One guy in particular, Ralph Holl, was one of the best mentors I had during my career.  (He actually had a part in the jet powered Budd car thing!)

The Lab moved to Altoona when the Collinwood Backshop closed in the early 1980s and most of my work with them was during their Altoona years.  We did all sorts of work at their place.  Most of the time, it was in conjunction with them.  But, sometimes when the internal political winds in the upper reaches of the adminisphere blew sideways, on our own.

Sometimes it involved work at the lab itself, but, the best work was going out on the road with them...in their converted passenger car.

Conrail car 20 was the ex-NYC Chicopee Falls (or Walton Lake.  I can't figure which source is definitive), a six double bedroom, lounge car that was converted into rolling laboratory test car some time in the early 1960s, I believe.  The blind end had a strain gauged, dynamometer coupler installed to measure drawbar pull.  The double bedroom pair closest to the vestibule end had an engine generator set installed for light, heat and air conditioning that had come from a wrecked mechanical reefer.  The next set of bedrooms was converted into a tool room, but retained the two upper berths.  The third set was left intact.

The original small kitchen was equipped with a sink, overhead water tank, stove, refrigerator and microwave oven. The lounge area had been reconfigured into one open space with a instrument rack at the rear.  Each side of the car also was fitted with a low profile bay window.  Somewhere in the car's history, there had been a sizable water leak that had ruined the original wood veneer interior. The bubbled veneer had been painted over suede gray - the same color as the interior of locomotive cabs.  The train-lined steam heat system had been replaced with some baseboard electric heat - about 10KW worth - about as much as the engine generator set could stand and about half what a locomotive cab has.  The car had a recirculating chemical toilet and gravity fed running cold water in the kitchen, but no hot water or shower.

This was not luxury rail travel - more like camping out in a rail car.  But it was fun!  Here are a few tales:

SD50 vs C36-7 Fuel economy test

The oil shocks of the 1970s created a big push for locomotives with higher fuel efficiency in the early 1980s.  Some of the improvement came from making the diesel engine itself more efficient but a big chunk of the improvement came from controlling the power going to the auxilliary components like the cooling fans and traction motor blower.  Locomotive builders EMD and GE each had a their own bag of tricks and claimed some pretty substantial gains.  Conrail was in the market to purchase some new locomotives and rather than just take their word for it, The Lab was asked to do some real world testing.

Conrail borrowed a "lastest-greatest" SD50 from UP (actually, from the Missouri Pacific, but in full UP Armour Yellow and to UP specs) and a "latest-greatest" C36-7 from Norfolk Southern in 1985.  The Lab installed some power meters and a "day tank" system for measuring fuel consumption and set about making a bunch of round trips between Selkirk and Boston, Beacon Park Yard.  They also used the dyanmometer coupler to measure drawbar HP by integrating force and speed.  I got to be part of their crew for several trips, some during the day, some during the night.  When laying over in Boston, we stayed on the car.

Fuel Pad at Beacon Park at night.  Looking out end door of CR 20.


Some recollections.

CR 20 could keep itself warm under most circumstances, but one trip, half the electric heat quit and the temperature hovered in the low 50 inside the car.  We spent most of our spare time huddled under a blanket or two.

With no one to tell you "no", I got to do a bit of "dutch-dooring" along the way.  This way particularly nice when winding up through the Berkshires.



Attempting sleep in the bedrooms was always a bit challenging.  One particular trip, I was trying to catch a nap while the train was descending Berkshires westbound. All was good until I started thinking about the three big six axles holding back the train with dynamic brake.  CR 20 had a bit of a rust problem.  In fact the vestibule end was a bit of a mess.  Thinking about the rust and the buff forces and listening to the car creak under the pressure made sleep a bit problematic!

Between runs at Selkirk

I learned that you can effectively weigh a train using a dynamometer coupler.  With the train on a steep, steady grade at a steady, low speed, nearly all the train's rolling resistance is due to climbing the grade.  Take the force and divide by the grade (in percent) and 20 (lbs per ton) and voila!  Train weight!  (pretty close, anyway)

In the end, we found that the manufacturer's claims were dead-on.  Conrail continued to purchase SD50s and later sprung for the first production six axle Dash 8s ever built, the C32-8s.

Ride quality testing, B36-7 and SD50

Locomotives are supposed to stay on the tracks.  They are also supposed to be able to pull trains.  All the while, they should try to give a good ride to the train crew.  The locomotive suspension should not be overly complex, either.  That's pretty much the order of importance, too. These four often place conflicting demands on the truck design engineer and problems and complaints can occur.

The most notable was when the Amtrak SDP40F locomotives had a seemingly abnormal number of derailments.  This led Conrail to avoid the truck design under that locomotive, the EMD HTC truck, gaining some ride quality at the expense of adhesion.  I had the job of doing the literature review of all the various tests of the Amtrak SDP40F.  It was very instructive for my understanding how the suspension system worked and how ride quality tests were generally conducted.

That was interesting, but not as interesting as going out and actually measuring locomotive ride quality.

Conrail purchased 60 B36-7 locomotives in 1983.  They were purchased to displace some ancient GP40s in intermodal train service.  Three of them could effectively displace four GP40s on a train and they did! It was a fairly low risk purchase.  They were similar in size and design to a large fleet of B23-7s Conrail already owned.  The B36-7s were heavier with a larger engine and bigger fuel tank and they had GE's new, but thoroughly tested, "floating bolster" truck instead of the old, AAR type B.

Low risk isn't "no risk" however, and it wasn't long before ride quality complaints came pouring in - tales of yawing at speed.  After much discussion with GE, GE developed a modified damper package for the truck and we had The Lab test it.

This time it was a nice day trip from Altoona to Mifflin.  We tested at speeds up to 70 mph on welded and jointed rail on a modified and unmodified B36-7.  Back and forth for hours.  What did we find?  We found that the B36-7 was a lousy riding locomotive, but there was no sign of yawing.  The improved dampers did little to help the lousy ride.

Not knowing what else to do, Conrail installed the improved dampers, claimed victory and moved on.  The complaints continued and only years later, while riding for a completely different reason, would I experience the yaw that was being complained about. At just the right speed, with just the right wear on the wheels, the locomotive would, indeed, yaw.  However, it never reached the lateral suspension limits, so it wasn't a real danger.

The final solution was to downgrade the B36-7s to regular freight service and let newer locomotives handle the intermodal trains.

Still, one person's problem was another person's train ride!

The SD50s posed another problem.

When Conrail decided they didn't want the HTC truck, but wanted the Flexicoil truck, EMD simply kept getting new Flexicoil trucks cast.  However, after several years of no orders in the early 1980s, EMD stopped production of the Flexicoil truck.  When Conrail started ordering SD50's, they were sourced from trade-ins at a substantial savings.

The problem was, Conrail had just burned through a substantial pile of "second generation" Flexicoil frames when they retro-fitted the six axle slugs.  It was necessary to dip into a pile of  "first generation" frames from SD9s and SD35s to supply the middle two orders of SD50s.  At the time, this did not seem to be a problem.

The problem occurred when asbestos abatement became reality in the late 1980s.  One of the differences between the first and second generations of Flexicoils was the spring loaded snubber in the bolster that provides damping for the secondary suspension (the Flexicoils, themselves).  There was no asbestos free snubber replacement for the first generation truck, and developing a source of supply was going to be costly.

So, EMD came up with some external, hydraulic dampers - shock absorbers - and we applied them on one SD50 (6741?)


Modified loco on left, CR20 in the middle, control unit trailing

SD50 riding on first generation Flexicoil trucks from an SD9 or SD35.
Most notable spotting feature is the thin reinforcing ridge over the middle pedestal
We ran out to Mifflintown and then made the same series of runs as the B36-7 test at track speed on both welded and jointed rail.  It was a nice, early summer day and it's always fun to run along the Juniata river valley.

The verdict?  The mod was not effective.  We were going to have to ante-up and develop a new supply for the bolster snubber.

In hindsight, this whole problem could have been avoided one of three ways.

First, Conrail could have just gone with HTC trucks in the first place.  There was no real reason not to.

Second, the slug re-trucking was the result of trying to get away from equalized trucks which made brake shoes changing nearly impossible except over a pit.  Going from Alco tri-mounts to Flexicoils required as small mountain of welding.  It would have been easier and cheaper to do a "carbody" and cabling transplant to some retired GE six axles, but Juniata was short of electricians and over-supplied with welders...

Third, Juniata could have chosen the first generation Flexicoils for the slugs.  They already had the attachment points for clasp brake rigging.  Instead, they chose the second generation ones from SD45s and welded on all the needed material for clasp brake rigging.

Oh, well.  Hindsight is always 20/20.

Clearance testing on the River Line.

The double-stack revolution happened fast.  No sooner were UP and American President's Line running double stack container trains from LA to Chicago than the other railroads scrambling to increase line clearances to handle stack trains.  Conrail got the Chicago Line and River Line in shape to provide a route to metropolitan New York from Chicago.  It wasn't easy, particularly on the River Line where the tunnel under West Point was already pretty close to the high tide level of the Hudson River.  But, the work got done and soon highly profitable solid trains of double stacked marine containers were moving from Chicago to North Jersery.

Then came JB Hunt.  They wanted in on the game, except their containers mimicked regular highway trailers and were a bit taller.

Problem.  Engineering said the West Point tunnel couldn't be undercut any lower and raising the roof would be hugely expensive. After much internal wailing and gnashing of teeth, it was decided to drop the normal clearance margin from 6" to 4", which should be just enough to accomodate JB Hunts boxes in the West Point Tunnel.  The Engineering and C&S departments checked their clearances manually and then The Lab was sent out to verify the clearances with their test car.

As it turns out, they were a guy short and I happily got volunteered to help them out on the last leg of the trip from Selkirk to Croxton, NJ.  The test set-up was rather simple.  A locomotive, CR 20, then a well car with JB Hunt boxes on it.  On top of the containers were some plywood fingers with wire strung between them, making a circuits at one inch increments from the box roof up to 6" above the box.  A video camera with some flood lights were mounted on the roof of car 20 where it could see the "fingers".  The output of the video went to a VCR.

I was riding with Ralph Holl, a veteran of the NYC test lab in Cleveland - one of a very few who made the move to Altoona -  and all around nice guy.

We got an early afternoon call, bought some supplies and headed for Selkirk. We got out of the yard on time and headed down the River Line.  Got as far as the first controlled siding and tucked in behind the frieght already on the siding...and waited...and waited.  There was an MOW curfew on until early evening, so we sat.

Finally, about dusk, we got going again.  While I was looking foward to riding down the Hudson River in daylight hours, it was pretty nice at night, too.  Mile after mile, the clearances were just like we thought they'd be.  No problems.  Then we went under West Point.  "Eeeeeep!" went the alarm.  One of the wires had been snagged.  We had the crew stop the train and rewound the video tape to find the offender.  There was a staybolt end hanging down from the tunnel roof and it snagged the top wire.  Easily fixed.  The bolt could be trimmed.

Ralph then said, "We have to go up and replace that wire."  Really?  I was not fond of ladders - or heights.  The higher, the less fond.  This one went up from the platform on the well car to the roof of the top box, about 20 feet above the railhead.  Yikes!  I really don't want to do this, but I couldn't let Ralph down!

So up I went.  The hard part was navigating from the ladder to the roof without any handholds.  Once up there, it was actually nice!  It was a warm evening with a light breeze.  You could see the lights along the river on both sides - just very pleasant.  We made short work of the repair and headed back down.

That cured me of my fear of ladders.  It wasn't as bad as I thought (like so many things...)

The rest of the trip down to Croxton was uneventful until we got to NX (?) tower at the east end of the yard just before midnight.  The second trick operator had gone for the day and there was no third trick job, so the crew tied us down just outside the yard limit and jitneyed on out of there.  We locked up the end doors on the car and headed for bed.   It wasn't the greatest neighborhood, so there was a tendancy to sleep with one eye open.  A yard crew came knocking on our door just after 7 AM and hauled us into the yard.  Taxi to Newark, Amtrak to Philly and then home. QED.


Pueblo flange lube testing on worm loop.

It came to light in the late 1980s that if you could continuously lubricate the flanges on train, you could save tankers full of fuel.  Not just those curve flange greasers, but a way to get the flanges lubricated continuously.  On approach to this way to squirt grease on the locomotive flanges and let it carry down the rail to the rest of the train.  Conrail bit hard on this technology and one of the ways they tried to determine the cost, savings and overall effectiveness was to do a controlled test on the "worm" loop at the AAR/DOT test facility in Pueblo, Colorado.  I got invited out for a visit during the test.  It travelled out to Denver, visited Woodward Governor in Fort Collins - we were doing a test of their electronic engine governor - and then down to Pueblo.

The next day, I headed out to the test center.  Their driveway is over 20 miles long and not a public road.  The rental car I had was a Sterling - a Rover/Honda model based on the Acura Legend.  It made short work of that driveway - autobahn style.  Once there, I didn't have time for the full rattlesnake safety training (gulp!  Rattlesnake safety training?!?), so I wasn't allowed around the place unescorted.  So, it was out to CR 20 for a day's worth of riding around and around the worm loop.   Got to see some equipment involved in other tests and the occasional glimpse of Pikes Peak.  Not the most glamourous or exciting route I'd ever ridden, but I was still riding on a train, in a full-fledged passenger car, with people who were now my friends and mentors.  A very pleasant day! There are no bad train rides.

Test train on worm loop at TTCI Pueblo, CO


Like I said in the beginning, "I like riding trains.  Pretty much any train."

Affordable Car(e) act

A real economist decided there was some good in a car analogy...

http://mercatus.org/expert_commentary/why-both-sides-are-losing-health-care-debate

I feel better now...

http://blerfblog.blogspot.com/2013/10/buying-new-car-or-some-other-thing.html

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Arkansas can wait - Part 3: Paris!

We have five days.

Paris is the world's number one tourist destination. We have a Rick Steve's book.  We advise from friends and relatives.  We have our own idea of what to do and see.

We have five days.

Go!

Day One:

Arrive by train
Gare du Nord (North Station)


Metro from train station.  Walk to hotel.  Get lost. Paris streets were laid out by drunken cows, no doubt.  Ask directions.  Drop bags at hotel.  Get map from desk clerk. Walk back to Metro.  Get to St. Michael's Place for Sandeman "New Europe" walking tour.

St. Michael is very popular in the Netherlands, Belgium and Paris.
He's everywhere, like Martin Luther was in Germany.
Tour group is large, but tour is very good.  Guide is ex-pat from LA (Los Angeles, not "Lower Alabama").  Native English speakers are predominently from Enland with many Americans and some Australians mixed in.  The rest of the group is from other place in Europe except Spain.  (see "We learned a few things" below)



We learned a few things.  

The Metro system goes everywhere.  The ticket machines are really easy to use and take cash.  Paris is huge, so there is a lot of walking to/from/between metro stops to get where you are going.

During our time in Brussels, we heard the contrast between the Dutch and the French was the Dutch were all about commerce and function.  The Dutch place-names almost always described function and were business related.  The French place-names almost always alluded to grandeur and flowed off the tongue smoothly and beautifully - provided you could figure out how to pronounce them.  This was doubly true in Paris.  Paris was full of fabulous architecture, art and open spaces.

Since the French revolution, they have been very busy tearing down statues and putting up the same or different ones.  There were many statues of kings before the revolution but only a few now.  There's a parallel here with the Catholic/Protestant church iconography defacing/destruction we saw in the Netherlands.  Probably just human nature shining through...

We learned that is was spring break week in Spain and they were all in Paris.

More scenes from the tour

"New" Bridge

Faces allegedly made from sketches of drunk guests at King's party.

King Henry IV. About the only King statue left in the city.  They like this guy.  He was big on public works, including the "new" bridge.

Love locks.  Craze gone crazy.  This is about a year's accumulation.

The island where Paris started.

Former Royal Palace, now the Louvre.
  
Obligatory Louvre pose.

Here we are!  In Paris!

Oh, no!  There's a bird on my head!  What shall I do?
One of the few pieces of art in Paris not featuring a half-naked woman and/or someone fighting some strange combination of beasts.
 
...like this...

...or this.


Luxor obelisk.  "Borrowed" from Egypt.
Includes classy brass hat designed by Yves St. Laurent and instructions for installing on pedestal on base.
It replaced the Guillotine on Concorde Place.

After the tour:

Head over to Notre-Dame.  Get lost in underground Metra/RER station.  Fight our way to the surface - remain lost.  Wait!  It's right here!  Go inside.  Nice church.  Not Notre Dame.  It's Saint Eustache. Get oriented.  How'd we get way over here?  Walk a long way...  "I think I see it!"  Nope.  Large bell tower turns out to be Saint Jacques tower.  Keep walking....a total of a mile and a half later...

Finally!  We make a short visit.



Gothic guys abound...plus Mary and Jesus above.

Mass was taking place, so we didn't linger.

organ loft

Quite an ornate place
Day two:  Museums and stuff
Orangerie.  Napoleon grew oranges here - because he could.
Now, Monet's giant Water Lillies painting lives here.  No pictures allowed inside.
From Wikipedia link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Claude_Monet_038.jpg
Just a tiny bit of Water Lillies...

Musee d'Orsay
Former train station is now a massive collection of impressionist art work.

On the way there...nice to see an statue of a boy from back home.

You're not supposed to take pictures of the stuff inside, but I suppose an overall shot won't kill anyone....
The building was a train station, hence the big clock.
I always smile in train stations.

Looking out the clock toward Sacre Coeur to the north
...clock reminds me of the movie Hugo.

Montparnesse tower.  The Eiflel tower is a good place to go to get a look around, but you can't see the Eifel tower from there.  But, you can from Montparnesse tower.

small

medium

...and large Eifel Tower


Looking down Rue de Rennes.  St Sulpice Church (two towers) and St. Germain de Pres (single spire) both on right of road.  St. Eustache beyond that on other side of Seine.

Notre Dame

Invalides

Sacre Coeur

Us with that tower thing in the background
Of course, all this touring can wear you out!
 Then we headed out to see that tower thing up close.






...and the Arc d'Triumph - which was being repaired...which made it kind of ugly

Over the past two centuries, lots of armies marched through this arch to celebrate.  Germans twice.  French twice.  British and Americans once.

right side

left side

middle
All kinds of nonsense going on in the bas-relief panels....

Most nights we conked out about dusk, but this night we headed out to see Paris after dark.

Eiffel tower at dusk
 We took a boat cruise.
No bridge over the Seine is unadorned.  Even the modern ones.

"New" bridge (now the oldest...) with King's "party heads" on it.



Paris lights up everything at night - even the bridges



Then stopped on the way back to watch the Eiffel tower sparkle


Two sparklers!




Day Three: St Chappelle, Concierge, Sacre Coeur, Tuileries Garden

Saint Chappelle is another medieval church.  What sets it apart is the stained glass.  They are in the process of restoring the stained glass, so several windows were not viewable, but the remaining ones...



Small chapel at entrance...just getting warmed up.

Massive stained glass windows

Each window was a story, and each panel in the window was a sequential portion of the story.


Looking up

From the outside, including 19th century add-on steeple
Right next to Saint Chappelle was the Concierge....in case you need theater tickets or a dinner reservation or your head chopped off!

It was a very old building - early Medieval - used for a variety of functions over it's life, including a palace, but the most notorious was as a "holding pen" for the 40,000 or so about carted off to Concorde Place for a close shave.


Main area where the soon to be condemned had their simplified trial and brief waiting period prior to execution.

Room where Marie Antoinette stayed prior...Cake was not served.

Exterior

We wandered along the island and found a nice place to sit and eat the bread and cheese we toted along for lunch.

Square de la Place Dauphine  (the square at crown prince's plaza?)
 Then up to Sacre Coeur... a hike up crowded, narrow streets from the Metro station.

The church

The view

Cafe in Montmartre
We spent the rest of the day in and around the Tuileries Garden.

Joan of Arc keeps watch over Concorde Place

This is the Arc de Triomphe Carrousel.  A mini Arc de Triomphe that pre-dates the big one a few decades.
This is the first of four monuments in a row.  Next is the obelisk, then the "big Arc", then a modern arch way down the road called "Le Grande Arche"
Napoleon marched his Grande Armee though this one.  The horses on the top are ushering in "peace".

This fellow rents sailboats to sail in the Garden's ponds.


Day Four: Versailles

It's a short train ride out to Versaille on an RER-C train.


All aboard!
Actually, in Europe they traditionally blow a whistle to close the doors and get rolling.
These trains and the Metros have simulated whistle tones that replace the "all aboard" call Americans are used to.

We purchased and printed our tickets way back when we were still in the Netherlands - including a guided tour of the King and Queen's apartments.

...which was good news and bad news and good news.

The good news was that our tour tickets allowed us to bypass the entire security line and get checked in for the tour directly, joining the throngs in the palace at the end of the tour.  No long security line!

The bad news was, we didn't know this and waited through the long security line, only to leave the secure area and buy a garden's ticket - which we should have done directly in the first place...just in time to leave that and go on our guided tour.  Wasted a bit over an hour doing this cha-cha.

The good news was - well - "It's good to be the King!"

In fact, it's so good to be the king, Versailles gets it's own blog page! 


Day Five: Climbing up Eiffel tower, Louvre

We had to.  We just couldn't not.  We had to go back to the Eiffel tower and walk up.  So, we did.

First you have to brave some pretty substantial lines.


Structure with style!


She's got legs! (and knows how to use them)


Quite a bit of less-than-substantial steel work.
Lacey trusses between box beam.

What used to make the elevators go

Stairs!  Lots of them!  We climbed all the way up to the second floor.  700+ steps.
Got shooed off the first floor because of an unattended bag, so went straight up to second floor.

Lines are like this all day long.  Not very well organized or policed.


All is right with the world.  Belgium chocolate and Diet Coke (aka Coca Cola Light)

Lots of cool symmetry.

Ants.  And this from only part way up.

Looking down the Seine.

Metro over.  Tour boat under.

Looking east.

Finally, the Louvre.  A monumentally large place.  You can get "museumed out" in a hurry unless you choose which sections interest you most.


From the inside, looking out.

Typical gallery hall
In the Italian Renaissance rooms you'll find...

Mona...

...Lisa

Marriage of Figaro

This guy has the most important job!

Appropriate for the day before Easter!
From Early "fertile crescent" civilizations...


Glazed brick lion

A bazillion artifacts

Venus de Milo...
aka Aphrodite
The Louvre remained a palace long after the court took off for Versailles and for years after the revolution...a revolution caused by a reaction to royal opulence, in part.  So, how do you explain this?

circa 1860 dining hall...
Or this...
...and parlor.


Some statues...there were lots and lots


Some babies watching some other babies getting mauled by some cat/dog looking thing.




Museumed out...

Babylon?  Maybe...


Stone cold stupid.

I think this is a very important thing.
Something like an early "bill of rights" or Magna Carta perhaps?
...museumed out....

Thus endeth Day Five.

Mission accomplished!

Our hotel and neighborhood.

One of the nice things about Paris is you can stay in a small hotel that's in a residential neighborhood.  We stayed in "Hotel Joyce" which is a part of a larger chain, but was right in the middle of the ninth arondissement (district).


Hotel Joyce
Nearby plaza - typical of central Paris


The elevator was this wide.  Just big enough for two with suitcases.

Breakfast area used old car seats.

Nearby Pizza joint "Pi Hour".  They had Belgium beer on tap!

Room had a view...sort of.
Montparnesse tower in the back. Peaked roof opera house in front of that.

Hotel had LED lights embedded in the floor.  Weird, but cool!



Odds and ends

Language

A Belgium TV channel played US movies every night with Dutch subtitles.  It was the only TV channel with English-speakers other than the news and BBC.  One night, "Inglorious Basterds" was on.  I watched a bit.  All was cool until the characters started speaking in German, which they did a good bit.  The American version used English subtitles during this part, but I got Dutch subtitles in Brussels.  What did I learn from this?  Dutch and German are very similar, they just build their sentences backwards from each other.

Dutch and German words also sound a great deal like they're spelled - using standard English phonics, that is.

Then there is French.

Trying to tease the meaning out of written French is almost possible.  English and French both share some common Roman/Latin heritage so there are lot of similar words with similar meaning.  It ends there, though.  Listening to French is maddening and trying say anything is even worse.  They only seem to use about 1/3 of the letters in a word but which ones get pronounced when appears to be completely random.  The best lesson I got in French pronunciation was riding the Metro Line 2 which had automated station announcements.   I thought I might be getting somewhere until I heard "Hchumm".  Was the automated voice clearing her throat?  Too much phlegm from smoking too much?  No. That's how they pronounce "Rome".  That's when I gave up.  But, I can find the ham (jambon) and cheese (fromage) sandwich on any menu!

Bonsoir, y'all!

Smoke gets in your eyes



This man is "Mr. Smokestoomuch". Don't be fooled by that British accent. He must be French. They definitely smoke too much, particularly the young people. Unlike the US and elsewhere, where smoking is declining, it's actually increasing in France.  It's a bit disheartening...and annoying.  If you don't like smoke, then you pretty much don't want to sit outside at a cafe.  You will get smoke blown on and around you - although a little secondhand smoke never killed anyone, I hope.

French wine 

French grocery stores have huge wine sections.  That's bad and good.  It's bad, because there are too many to chose from.  It's bad because none of the French wine seem to have familiar names.  You want a Cabernet Sauvignon?  Good luck!  It's good, because it really doesn't matter what you choose. It's ALL good.

Paris is a cloudy, rainy city.  Or so we've heard.

Not while we were there!  Paris was a city of limestone dust!  (and lots of sunshine, as you can see from the pictures!)  Practically every park walkway was made from native limestone and there was nary a drop of rain to keep the dust down.  Started out the day with black jeans, came home with gray.

Boston is not so bad

Most of American cities, even the older ones have streets laid out in nice grids.  Boston is probably the worst with lots of curvy streets right in the heart of town.  But, that's nothing!  These old  medieval cities were laid out by drunk cows!  There are no right angle intersections anywhere.  Amsterdam, Brussels, Ghent, Bruges, Paris - all bad!  Paris was the worst, mostly because of it's size and how street names changed at every other intersection.  We got thoroughly lost going three blocks from the Metro to our hotel - and we had directions!

Pardon me, do you speak English?

In Paris, the answer is always "no", if you want to hang on to your money, that is.  Paris must be world headquarters for pickpockets.  There are warning signs everywhere - even inside the Louvre.  The main scam being run is by people, mainly young girls, asking, "Do you speak English".  Once you stop, you're toast, apparently.  You will either get conned or pickpocketed or both.  The statistics are grim - something like 1 in 50 tourists get hit.  I spent a lot of my time with my hands in my front pockets on my wallet, camera and phone....and, no, I don't speak English!

We got your Eiffel towers right here....everywhere!

Everywhere you go in the touristy areas of Paris there are guys selling Eiffel towers.  Big ones.  Small ones.  Ones that light up.  Ones that are key chain fobs. Red ones.  Blue ones.  Silver ones. Gold ones. All kinds  - and sometimes other stuff like hats and purses.  They are apparently not allowed to do this, as the Police will occasionally chase them away.  They keep their displays on mats with handles for making fast exits.  Sometimes you see them running en masse with the gendarmes right behind on their bikes.

Here's a whole gauntlet of them set up near Concorde Place.