Friday, October 26, 2012

The State of the Union - as seen from daytime TV!

I am just getting over the flu.  I watched a lot of TV.  Daytime TV.  Oh, boy.

Even with Comcast's "wonderful" HD lineup and a 42" TV, it was slim picking.  Much to my surprise, I did learn quite a bit.  Here's the summary:

  1. If you have a structured settlement and need cash now, there a whole bunch of nice companies that will "help"you. 
  2. If you have been injured, on the job, in a car wreck or on the job in a car wreck, there are bunch of nice law firms ready to "help" you.  
  3. If you don't have a car, or have a really crappy one, and you don't have any money and you have lousy credit,  there are lots of nice loan sharks companies that will "help" you.
  4. If you have a house and are starving on your Social Security income, Fred Thomson's company will "help" you.
  5. If you need money NOW - and I mean RIGHT NOW, and can't wait until payday, there are lots of loan sharks companies that "help" you out.
  6. If you are diabetic, you can get all kinds of meters, pump, pens, test strips and the insulin from many, many suppliers, all shipped direct to your house and billed directly to Medicare AT NO COST TO YOU!
  7. If are, um, "mobility impaired", you can get one of several motorized scooters, all shipped direct to your house and billed directly to Medicare AT NO COST TO YOU!
  8. If you are overweight, the answer is simple, just send money (usually a lot of it) to one of several companies and they will send you, not-much-food, a machine, magic sprinkles or cool sounding placebos.  Sorry, can't bill Medicare direct for this one.
  9. Christmas is coming.  All kids toys this year have batteries and make noise.  All of them.
  10. If your kids need all those noisy toys for Christmas and you don't have the money now, "help" from Walmart is on the way! Layaway!  
  11. The Man from U.N.C.L.E. Where are they now? Ilya Kuryakin has a nice job working for NCIS as "Duckie", but Napoleon Solo is stuck shilling for a law firm. (See #2)
  12. Deloreans will last forever. There is a show on Velocity by this English guy who doesn't shut up.  He is short and squat. He has a mechanic for a side kick.  He is tall and thin. Think Laurel and Hardy.  Each episode they buy a car and fix it up a bit and resell it.  This episode:  A Delorean.  The guy flies to California, finds a half decent used one - recently resuscitated by the current owner - buys it and has it shipped back to England.  Along the way, we find out many things.  One, this guy REALLY liked Back to the Future. Two, there were only 9000 Deloreans built, but a lot of them are still roaming around, but not many in Europe.  Three, this guy can really talk a lot.  Four, there were parts made for 30,000 Deloreans and one company owns them all - and is selling to owners. They guy bought a bunch of parts to take home with him.  The mechanic did all the work.  The car came out great.  They sold it for a pretty big profit, at a Delorean owners club meeting in England - who knew?  I now know how to change a rear crankshaft oil seal in Delorean (no thanks!).  Also, did you know there was a Delorean in Back to the Future?
  13. Moving wallpaper on TV.  Mecum Auto Auctions are continuously replayed on Velocity - except when the talky English guy is on.  A new car pops up every two minutes.  It's great to watch with a 103 fever.  Not much to comprehend.  I've seen enough Corvettes and Camaros to last a lifetime, now.
  14. I will never get tired of Big Bang Theory reruns, although I still can't shake the thought that it is reality show and I know these people....
I think what I learned overall was this.  

A lot of people are stuck in some sad circumstances and there are lots of "sharks" out there that want to feed off what little they have.  This is very sad.  The time to manage you money is before you need it.  You don't need anyone to "help" you.  Learn a bit and use common sense.  I say this now.  I'll let you know how it works out in a couple decades....I hope.

If Americans ate right and exercised as part of normal living by walking more and driving less, then maybe we wouldn't be in such need of diet pill, exercise machines, hoverround scooters, insulin and a lot of other stuff shipped direct to your house and billed directly to Medicare AT NO COST TO YOU!  I think I'll start by looking in the mirror.

Deloreans were cool.  Particularly at a time when there weren't many cool cars to choose from.  Wonder if that parts store has any spare flux capacitors?

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