Why Ancient Rome had Baths and not Showers...

 So, you've heard of Roman baths.  Famous.  Fabulous.  Wonderful.  In fact, the original Penn Station in New York is modeled after a Roman bath

You knew I'd make this about train

But, you've never heard of Roman showers.  Good reason.  They are terrible at them.

Here is our Roman Bath Room. Note: no bath.  No shower.

Here's the shower!  In the middle of the bedroom.  Terrible.

There's a lot to unpack here.  First, there is wood flooring all around it.  Second the door hinges are on the wrong side for you to get your towel when done.  Third, there's nothing to hang on to in the shower -  it's like an "isolation booth" in an old time game show.  Fourth, it has a fancy "rainfall" shower head that makes it impossible to adjust the temperature without standing in the flow. 

But, worst of all, the floor is some sort of slick psuedo-marble - and the drain cover was loose.

See?  Romans are bad at showers.  Shoulda stuck to baths.

It's like you could slip and fall!  ...and  Patti did - after a long day of sightseeing, getting ready for dinner - while attempting to adjust the temperature.

Kathump!

"Don!  I need help.  I broke my wrist!"

Aspirationally, "No, you didn't."

But, she did.  It was obvious.  So, scramble around.  Clean up.  Get dressed.  Talk to front desk.  Sounds simple, but I managed to turn it into a fire drill.  

Front desk calls EMTs.  EMTs come. Front desk serves EMTs espresso.  Really.  Tradition?  Ask Patti to walk down.  We do. They whisk Patti away to local public hospital.  I'm to follow in a taxi that hotel has called.  

No taxi.  Front desk says they cancelled.  So, after trying to find one on the street, I call an Uber.  Get to hospital.  They don't let family back into ED.  I manage to get bag delivered to her.  The ER is about busting at the seems.  Ambulances arriving faster than they can triage.

Meanwhile, the send Patti for Xrays and doctor wanders by and asks what her travel plans are and could be if she needed surgery.  Say what?  "I'll have to ask my husband"  "Where's he?"  "You won't let him in."  Oh.  

Another patient, who speaks English explains that a) they aren't letting me in.  b) this is a public (free) hospital and c) there are private hospitals.  Oh.

Meanwhile, meanwhile, I'm sitting outside on a bench on the hospital walkway.  I call travel insurance.  They are going to get me a list of private hospitals nearby. They also say we can go anywhere.  We're covered. I call my cousin, she starts Googling.  She comes up with a good possiblilty.

I call.  Talk directly to orthopedic surgeon on call at a private hospital nearby.  "When will you be here?"  Patti escapes ED.  We call Uber and arrive private hospital.

It's just about deserted.  Doctor lets us in.  Takes one look at wrist.  "It's broken.  You need surgery."  "What? When?" "ASAP - tomorrow."  He calls in xray tech and guy to give her a good splint.

Next thing we know, she has an nice, private room, pain meds, et. al.

I Uber back to hotel, sleep, shower - carefully!, dress and head back.  They've made me a nice day bed in the room, complete with towels so I can stay over.  Wow! 

Very nice private hospital in suburban neighborhood.

Surgery is at 7:00 PM.  It takes a bit longer to do the surgery than estimated because she did such a fine job smashing things to bits.  They install a titanium plate.  Surgeon comes by and declares it "perfect".  We send xrays to Patti's uncle Jay, an orthopedic surgeon.  He also declares it "perfect".  The surgeon is pleased!

perfect!

The next morning, she gets checkout instructions and list of meds. 

After.

I head over to the pharmacy at the end of the street and get meds.  Amazingly efficient.  They type them in, a machine spits out the boxes of pills.  While you wait.  Five minutes for 5 prescriptions.  A second trip yields a pair of compression socks for flying home.

Last bit of advice from the surgeon.  "Cover your cast going through security. Sometimes they get picky about flying with a cast."  Really?  Okay....

The Pharmacy at the hospital entrance.

At one point, I go for a walk around the neighborhood and find....

gelato!

We depart the hospital at 4 PM and head back to the hotel.  Pack, sleep, dress, Uber to airport, check bags, go through security with arm covered - no problem - and fly home without a hitch!  Well, maybe one hitch.  You should have seen me trying to put her compression stockings on at the airport! We had an audience.  Shoulda put out a tip jar...

Last gelato.  At airport.

Epilogue.  

Orthopedist back home has also declared the surgery "perfect", the cast is now a removable splint and PT has begun!

Oh, and ALWAYS buy the trip insurance.